Who taught you to pray? Very often it is a
parent who first introduces this marvelous
truth to us: that we can freely talk directly
with God, Who is always there to listen to us
and Who will speak to us as well. For the Apostles, it was Jesus Who taught
them to pray in a compelling way. As they
watched their Friend and Teacher in prayer, they saw an
intensity in Jesus’ union with God that inspired them, and
they wanted to grow in that spiritual connection themselves.
He was their rabbi, their leader; He kept the crowds
spellbound by His teaching; He had a comfort and ease in
being with both rich and poor, the powerful and the weak,
the robust and the sick. These were all human qualities other
rabbis no doubt also possessed in some measure. But His
prayer was unmistakably unique and the source of His
wisdom and sense of purpose: “I came not to do My own
will, but the will of the One Who sent Me.”And so they asked
Him: “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” To learn to pray is a lifelong process, because it is simply
the living communication in the relationship each of us has
with God. Just as we converse with our loved ones
differently at the different stages of life – children to
parents and grandparents, and vice versa; spouses at early,
middle, and later stages of marriage; school-age friends
and those of later life – so to our conversation with God will
mature and change if we are deliberate about it. The Catechism notes that prayer is a “vital and personal
relationship with the living and true God.” So prayer is this
relationship, which can take a variety of forms of
expression. More than formulae of words and rituals,
prayer is “the raising of one’s mind and heart to God” (St.
John Damascene). In other words, prayer must come from
the heart, and the deepest prayer needs no words or
actions at all. When we are in communion with God, we are
praying. But sustaining this communion in our human
condition in this life requires attention, motivation, a
conscious decision to speak – and more importantly, to listen
– to God. Prayer can be praise, petition for our needs, intercession for
others, thanksgiving, or contrition. I think of the four phrases
we learn as children to guide our respectful relationships
with others: “Thank you,” “I love you,” “Please,” and “I’m
sorry.” These sum up the major types of prayer, all found in
the Mass. As the Catechism emphasizes, prayer is always
about “today” – our prayer is to reflect our lived
relationship with God in our lives as they are. It is not some
separate piety or practice with no other connection to life as
we experience it; true prayer is immersed in the specifics of
my own “here and now.” Each person’s prayer is as unique and unrepeatable as each
soul; in your personal prayer, do what works for you to
speak to and hear God. As the Catechism puts it: “The Lord
leads all persons by paths and in ways pleasing to him, and
each believer responds according to his heart's resolve and
the personal expressions of his prayer.” It is good to be
familiar with many forms – verbal prayers like the Rosary,
the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, Stations, or the Liturgy of the
Hours; practices like lectio divina or visio divina (meditation
on Scripture or Christian art); Eucharistic adoration; silent
Only with time, practice, and above all perseverance,
will one’s personal connection with God grow and
mature. That connection also helps us to cut through the
clamor of so many human voices that seek to persuade
or influence us. Facing today’s many problems, we do
best to begin with the question: “I know what the
newscasters and politicians and bloggers and
celebrities say; but what does God have to say?” When we have a solid prayer life individually, we
bring that to the communal celebration of Mass, and
everyone’s experience is enriched. Though at times
prayer can seem empty or dry, no time with God is
ever lost, wasted, or without its lesson. When we know someone well and value that person’s
company, spending time together is not a chore or
obligation, but a joy to be savored. The same is true
with God. However much you pray already, add five
minutes over the course of this week, especially just to
listen. If you don’t know where to begin, do what the
Apostles did. Simply ask, “Lord, teach me to pray.” Fr. Tom
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